Like A Bat Outta Hell
by Asphyxia
Summary: Weird Weiß one-shot. After Schwarz disbanded, Farf got thrown into an asylum. He has a rather interesting conversation w/ another inmate.


She had changed a lot since I last saw her

A/N: This came from an overdose of American McGee's Alice and Weiß Kreuz at the same time.

Like A Bat Outta Hell

By Asphyxia

She had changed a lot since I last saw her.

We were both residents of this crazy place, trapped in our own minds with no way to get out. I was a clinically depressed multi-personality, and she was a cannibalistic paranoid schizophrenic. But she always saw me as a friend, instead of someone out to get her. 

She was there, now, laying in the middle of the cell with her favorite black straightjacket. They made me wear the white one, the one I hated, because it didn't have the sewn-on patch of a creepy-looking kitten. It wasn't as if I had much choice in the matter, so I didn't say anything. She stared at me angrily as I stood behind the glass. There was a loud buzzing noise, and orderlies—big, buff ones—lined up outside the cell door. They opened it and ushered me inside, making sure she wouldn't attack me. I sat down on the padded floor and locked my single gold eye with her brilliant emerald green ones that glittered with madness.

"Hello, Alice," I said, and she watched me still, not moving a muscle. I shifted slightly, then heard a smooth, quiet voice behind me.

"She's not really in a talking mood," the Cheshire Cat said brightly. He fixed me with his own yellow eyes and narrowed them, causing the tattoo-like markings on his thin gray fur to squeeze together. "Are you, Alice dear?"

Alice moved then, never looking away from the Cat. She grinned, one remarkably like the Cat's own, then whispered, "You're wrong again, dear Puss." Glancing at me as though she'd just noticed I was there, she continued, "But that's nothing new, of course. I grew used to that in Wonderland." 

The Cat scowled at her and lifted himself up off his anorexia-plagued haunches. Lashing his bony tail, the tuft at the end twitching sharply, he settled down next to her and glared at me from across the cell. "What have you come for?" he asked.

I was taken slightly off guard, but didn't let him see it. "The doctor says it does her good when I visit. She doesn't risk as much of a chance of falling back into her coma."

"Ah," he answered, nodding his head, "we must always listen to the doctor. He is, after all, always right."

"No, not always." I shrugged. "They're stupid because they are positive they have some sort of control over us. I guess that's what happens when you live too long with psychopaths."

The Cheshire chuckled, Alice smiled, and so did I. It was true, though: those poor men and women had been stuck with us for a very, _very_ long time. I didn't really blame them anymore. Maybe it wasn't their fault I was here. What do I know?

"Have you ever wanted to get out of here?" Alice questioned suddenly. I raised my eyebrows at her, surprised. "Well? Have you?"  
"Everyday, Alice. You know that." And she did, because I bitched about it a lot. But that was what I did. She was lucky that Farfarello, or whatever my other personality called himself, was dormant at the moment. He probably would've lunged for her. At least, that was what the doctors told me. "Besides, it's not as if there's any opportunity for us to escape."  
"For me there is," she whispered, and the Cat nodded. "She can go to Wonderland, if she so desires," he said. He glanced over at his…friend, and added, "But she hasn't yet. I worry about her mind sometimes."

"Don't we all," I muttered. With a sigh, I dropped my head back and stared at the ceiling. I could still feel Alice's eerie stare on me. Something heavy settled on my chest, and I looked up to see the Cheshire Cat lying on it. His eyes danced insanely as he watched me.

"What do you want, Cat?" I whispered. He glanced over his shoulder at Alice, who was currently engaged in a conversation with herself. 

"You could get her out of here, you know," he answered. "All you have to do is tell her to open the door to Wonderland."

"Why would she listen to me?"

"Because she likes you. Not in a romantic way—she sees you as her friend." The Cat sat back. "So get her to open the door, and someone will come for you." A smile crossed his face, his bloodstained teeth giving him an even more sinister appearance. "I guarantee it."

I stared at him, the implications of what he was saying running through my jumbled mind. Someone would come for me? Who? I didn't have anybody. So why the hell should I trust him? "Who?" I asked, trying not to show my eagerness in my voice. The Cat's grin widened, and he leaned down to my ear. "Your lover," he whispered, his foul cat breath tickling my nose. My own breath caught in the depths of my throat. Not him. Not Schuldich, _not him_. Schwarz was gone. He would never come back.

"You're lying," I snapped and sat up, throwing the Cat off my chest. "He won't—"

"Try me." All traces of humor were gone from the Cheshire's face. "Wonderland needs Alice, now. And I guarantee that _he will come, no matter what the cost_. Get her to open the door. NOW!"

"FINE!" I screamed. I staggered to my feet and ripped the arms of the straightjacket open. Alice looked up at me as I grabbed her by the shoulders. My mind froze suddenly, and I knew that Farfarello was here. "OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, YOU PSYCHO BITCH!" Her expression was unreadable, but some understanding was dawning on that face. "DO IT!"

In some dim corner of my mind, I heard the alarm go off as Alice stood up and let out a deafening screech. I knew she was speaking, but I didn't understand a word of it. Apparently, the Cheshire did, for he joined in, yowling like there was no tomorrow. And then, something happened.

Amidst the sounds raging in the small cell, a door appeared on the wall. It was wooden, and shaped bizarrely. It opened suddenly, a gust of hot wind blowing into our faces. Alice's straightjacket was gone, and she was now dressed in a little blue frock with a tattered white apron. Her bare feet were now clad in tall, button-up boots that most likely had steel toes in them. Something whizzed out of the door and slammed into the opposite wall. Alice turned and seized it, and I saw that it was a knife. This was followed by what looked like tentacles or vines shooting out and wrapping themselves around both the Cat and Alice. A deafening sound wave hit me, throwing me against the wall behind us. Light erupted in the cell, and I closed my eye for fear of being blinded. Then—the sound stopped and the light faded. Gunshots echoed in my ears, but I could barely move. A hand wrapped itself around my biceps and yanked me backwards. I collided with what felt like a body. 

"Ready to go, babe?" Warm breath, so unlike the Cheshire Cat's, brushed my ear, and I felt my heart completely stop. No way. _No fucking way_. 

"Schu?" I murmured. We were outside, that much I could tell, and I was roughly thrown in what appeared to be a car. 

"You betcha." Schuldich whirled around and fired like a madman into the stampede that had followed us. Don't worry, we're leaving.

We?

No shit, Farf. The chibi and his big bad boyfriend are here, too. I looked up and saw Crawford also firing his gun like crazy, and Nagi was holding off a particularly bad-looking group of orderlies. Crawford dropped the empty gun and leapt into the car. Nagi followed, throwing the orderlies back with one well-placed psychic blast. The car started, and we were out of there like bats outta hell. I found my voice and rasped, "What the hell happened?!"

Schu smiled, Crawford shook his head, and Nagi peered at me from the front seat. "We came back for you, Farf. Duh."

"Wouldn't be Schwarz without you, Farf-baby." Schu leaned over me predatorily. "Welcome back."

A/N: Strange, ne?


End file.
